My Update

I am assuming if you are reading this, you have been reading Glen's updates about his project. I am so proud of him, and I am doing my best to support him.

As for me, I have come to realize just how stressed out I am, and have been for some time. For the past year and a half or so, my life has been a mix of highs and lows. I as laid off from my job at International Paper. I finally got a temp job, but it wasn't really paying the bills, so I stayed stressed out. I got married. Got a new job. The campaign kicked into gear. Lost my new job, and now I am working two days a week for almost no money, living off the same couple of hundred dollars for the past six weeks, and I have absolutely no idea when I am going to get some relief.

Money is the thing that stresses me out the most. If I have it, I worry that I am spending too much or that I am not spending it on the right thing. If I don't have it, I panic about when I am going to get it again. I am never really comfortable, no matter what the circumstances, but I, of course, am very uncomfortable now.

I have gotten to the point where I can't reach out. There are friends I have lost touch with, family who thinks I should call more, and networking that I am not doing all because I have just lost the confidence to just pick up the phone and talk to people. I talk to the people who call me, of course. I wait for the phone to ring for that next job interview, and I am so excited when the phone does ring. I am constantly applying for things online, and never hearing back about the opportunities I think should be fairly easy to get.

It is so frustrating because it is an awful circle. I need to get out of my house and do things so that I am not as isolated with my thoughts, but doing things outside of the house tends to cost money, which I don't have, so I end up more isolated and alone with my thoughts. As Glen will tell you, if I have too much time on my hand to think about things, it is not a good thing.

So, that is where I am these days. If I haven't called in awhile, give me a call. I am here, I promise. If I do talk to you on a regular basis, thank you. It means the world to me.