Friday, October 29, 2010
Project Glen Update
I have been spending the last few days preparing for this year long project. Admitting that I have a problem is freeing, even if it is just admitting it to myself. Denial is a powerful force and it is not easy to deal with. However, I just have to take the bull by the horns and hang on for the ride. I feel like I am motivated and willing to take this on. My first goal has been to eat less and eat when I am hungry instead of eating for the sake of eating. I don't think I am going to every be that person that can just eat veggies and rice cakes, so I have tried to focus on cutting way back on unhealthy food. Right now that means sweets, fried food, and fast food. Dealing with a food addiction is like dealing with any other addiction you have to take one day at a time, keep a positive mental attitude, try to have some kind of support system, and if you do have a bad day or fall of the wagon do not beat yourself up too much. I am trying not to approach this like a diet, which is a short term solution that may succeed but you ultimately fail because you go back to old eating patterns and just gain the weight back. I want to approach this as a lifestyle change, and that changes I make now will serve me well the rest of my life. I simply must do this now, because if I don't I will die a painful and nasty death within 20 years. In addition to being healthier, looking better will give more options in doing acting and improv. I don't just want to be the funny fat guy. I had said I wasn't going to start until the first of November, but in many ways I started with that the blog post the other day. Over the years I have gained and lost weight. With me the mental aspect is crucial. You have to want to, and have you fight your own self destructive tendencies. I need to be able to find joy and motivation in something besides food. I think this will not only help me lose weight, but will improve my life in other ways as well. I just have to stick with this, don't get too down on myself, and don't let the old ways come back. Like they say one day at a time.
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Glen, I agree with not beating oneself when one doesn't follow his or her own plan. Completely unproductive negativity, to me. But I try to separate the anger from the responsibility — the only way I'm going to be able to move forward consistently is to have clear boundaries and to stick to them. If I find myself unable to respect a boundary consistently, that's feedback I should respond to. It might mean I have to remove a food completely from my diet, if only for, say, a month, to examine whether that food has an unusual effect on me. Or it might mean I need more support, which could come in a bunch of ways, but which I won't detail now, 'cause I've gone on too long already.
ReplyDelete— Michael