In Limbo

Some time in February, I was told by my current employer that my job was being eliminated. It was nothing personal, they said, it was due to the economy.

It may not have been personal to my employer, but it was very personal to me. I had been working for this company for over 8 years, first as a temp, then as a full time employee. It wasn't a job I loved, but it was a job, and in this economy, that is saying something.

This should be the happiest time of my life. I should be trying on dresses and dreaming of flowers and centerpieces. I should be able to give an answer to the very simple question on everyone's mind: have you set a date? The answer is no. I haven't set a date because I don't have a job. I am not capable of job hunting and wedding planning at the same time. The wedding would be a shiny key distraction that I don't need.

But, it sucks. Oh, how it sucks. I am still currently "working" at my soon-to-be former job. None of my customers know, and so they keep telling me their future plans to keep me busy. They compliment me on my work, and all I want to tell them is that nothing I do for them matters. No matter how well I do my job on a daily basis, the end result is still the same. On May 1, I join the ranks of the unemployed.

So, I am currently in limbo. I have to show up for work everyday. I have to do the best that I can, and I have to keep searching for a job. A job that will pay me close to what I am earning now. I will have to endure the wedding shower that my colleagues want to throw me next week, because I won't be there to celebrate when the wedding is actually scheduled. Just know that every time I click on indeed.com or usajobs.gov, I am longing for the day, when I do the majority of my web surfing here.